Facing Reality
by Slaughter Daughter
Summary: Connor's got his memories back along with a whole new family, including a brother; one Vladimir Tod. Vlad's the only one in Connor's new life who knows about his past, but with a suspicious Otis, D'Ablo, Joss, and WR&H will he be able to hide it for long?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Angel, it is the property of Joss Wheden, David Greenwalt, and anyone else who owns it. And I don't own The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod. That amazing book series belongs to the wonderful Heather Brewer, and Dutton publishing.**

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The dreams were killing him. They weren't nightmares, they couldn't be, for they actually happened; they were real. Every single agonizing, lonely, gory, resentful detail of his life, he'd dreamt about, always waking up in a cold sweat, shuddering, his eyes constantly leaking out silent tears.

His memories of a happy childhood were fake, and that hurt him deeply. All the happy moments he'd shared with his 'parents' Tom, and Mellina Tod, never even happened, hell, he'd never actually met them before they'd died in that fire when his brother was ten.

His brother… his life growing up with his younger brother Vlad was false as well.

Vlad was the only one who knew that they weren't biologically related, aside from all the people who knew of Connor before Angel made his deal, but Vlad didn't even care. He'd said it didn't matter who Connor's parents were, he was his brother, and there was no way he was getting out of it. He was forced to tell Vlad everything once he came back from Wolfram and Hart. He didn't remember most of it yet, only simple details like, Angel was his father, he'd killed a goddess, and he tried to commit patricide on more than one occasion.

Vlad had sensed something was bothering him the moment he stepped through the door. Connor wouldn't tell him at first, so being the concerned brother that he was, he read his thoughts, Connor knew, he could feel the prickling sensation when his brother was reading his mind. It was odd to think that there were different breeds of vampires, with completely different strengths, and weaknesses, some like Vlad's dad, were made with souls, and others like Angel's breed were created without them.

Vlad was obviously shocked when he found out the truth, and rightfully so. They just sat in silence until Connor completely broke down sobbing in front of him. It was then that Connor learned just how deep family ties run. He knew that you didn't have to be bound by blood to be a family, he, and Vlad both learnt this through Elysia, both now bearing the mark of a vampiric brotherhood. Vlad had held him, and told him that they would always be brothers and nobody could change that.

Connor sat up in bed, bringing his knees to his chest. He was only fifteen when the whole catastrophe with Jasmine went down. Fifteen when he fell in love with a woman who could never love him back, for she wasn't even there, only a goddess bent on taking away free will for 'the greater good', using someone's body as a vesicle for her own birth, using it as a shell.

He was sixteen now, and though he felt like he'd lived many, many years sometimes, at his hearts core, he was still a child.

His fake memories told him that he was nine months older than his brother, a brother that he would give his life for, and that his mother, and father had loved him dearly.

He knew that these were deceitful little lies implanted in his brain to make sure that he didn't go insane and try to kill himself, and others again, so that he could be happy. But his emotions told him that not all of these thoughts were lies, that he would still, and always would protect his brother, and he did in fact have a mother, and a father who loved him greatly, though one was long since ash, and the other he rarely got to see due to his current life situation.

Connor glanced down at the blue/black tattoo occupying the inside of his left wrist, marking his name in Elysian code. He'd always wondered when he got it why his middle, and last initial weren't what they were on his birth certificate.

Instead of C.O.T. for Connor Otis Tod, his mark bore the initials C.L.A. in Elysian code for what he now knew to be for; Connor Liam Angel, his true name. Maybe the reason why Vlad's uncle never liked him, was because of his mark. He loved his mark though, just like Vlad did his own. It made him feel… normal. It made him feel like he could finally belong somewhere. But he knew this wasn't true. Wherever he went he was a freak, and he always would be.

He would never leave Vlad, but he missed Angel greatly. He at least tried to make Connor feel like he wasn't a mistake, though Connor would never fully believe him, but Angel believed it, and that meant the world to Connor.

He would always catch Otis giving him these looks, like he knew that something wasn't right with Connor, like he knew that he was this corrupt, unstable, monster child… a demon spawn. He kept telling himself that Angel took that deal with Wolfram and Hart to give him a better life, but there was always this little voice in the back of his head that told him that Angel only wanted to get rid of him, that he couldn't handle Connor anymore.

And who could blame him? Otis had hardly known Connor for what he thought was three years, and he despised him, Connor could tell, despite Vlad's constant reassurance that this wasn't true.

Connor ran his fingertips lightly across his tattoo, watching as the glyph glowed in the pitch black room. Vlad's eyes shown the brightest shade of purple he'd ever seen when he touched a glyph. Connor's on the other hand became a bright demonic yellow, just like his real father's when he morphed into his 'game face' as he liked to call it.

He wasn't going to get anymore sleep tonight, he knew. His dreams would only prove to torture him further, and he couldn't stand to see his father's face as he sank him to the bottom of the ocean, or the cries of the innocent girl he'd let Jasmine willingly sacrifice. It was eating him alive, tearing up his insides until he was nothing but a hollow, empty creature that only existed, never lived.

He started his first day of school tomorrow, but he couldn't help that. It was three in the morning and he had to be awake at six, but it didn't matter. He'd gotten far less sleep when he was in Quor'toth, he was certain he could do with missing a few hours.

He needed to talk to somebody, if only about pointless things that didn't even matter at all. But who? Vlad was sound asleep in the other room, and there was nobody else that he was close to in Bathory. Sighing, he reached for his cell phone on the nightstand, flipping it open he stared at his contacts list for several minutes before finally pressing 'send' over the highlighted word: 'ANGEL'.

He listened as it rang, counting it off each time it did. Once, twice… before he heard the groggy "Hello," of his father.

"Uh, hey," Connor whispered into the phone. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I was just working late. Is everything okay?" Angel asked, concerned.

Connor rolled his eyes, though he knew Angel couldn't see the action. "Jeez, Angel, you worry too much. I'm fine, I just… I couldn't sleep,"

"That's all?"

"Yeah, do you need to get off the phone? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you at work," Connor said this, but his heart seemed to drop as he did. He didn't want to stop talking to Angel. All he needed right now was the comforting sound of his father's voice.

"No, I'm glad to be taking a break. Is there something in particular you wanted to talk to me about?"

_Yes. _"No, not really…" he said instead. "I just needed to talk to somebody, and you came to mind. After all you said to call you anytime I wanted, right?"

"Yeah, of course. Why can't you sleep?"

Connor closed his eyes, taking a breath before he answered, "I'm nervous about school tomorrow, is all," he lied, gripping the phone a little tighter as a sudden wave of guilt passed through him.

"Oh, right, tomorrow's your start of the school year. Why are you nervous? It's not your first day at a new school, you went to Bathory High last year," Angel pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, but… I wasn't exactly, well… myself last year, y'know?"

"Yeah,"

Connor could hear the guilt dripping from Angel's tone, and he immediately regretted what he said. "I don't blame you for what you did, I told you that. I'm grateful for it, really I am, it's hard sometimes though… especially since Vlad's the only one who knows about it. I'm just glad that only he can read my thoughts or I'd be screwed right about now,"

"Is Otis still bothering you?"

Connor heaved a sigh into the phone. "He doesn't say anything, he never does, but I can tell. I think he knows that I don't really belong here,"

"Connor, you belong wherever you want to be, and if you feel like you can't be there anymore, than your always welcome to come back with me. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," he said, massaging his shut lids. "I know. I can't leave Vlad though, I mean I know that he isn't really my brother, but it feels that way to me, and too many shitty things have happened to him in his life, I won't add to that,"

"I know you won't, because as much as you deny it yourself, you _are _a good person," Angel said with passion, and Connor knew that he meant it.

"Thanks," he muttered, not knowing what else to say.

He'd taken for granted all those times Angel was around. Angel cared for him, only god knew why, but he did, and he couldn't even be there for Angel. Was he a good person? He didn't feel like it, but he tried to be.

"So, how are things going at evil incorporated?" he finally asked, after several moments of silence. He really didn't care too much about the law firm, all he needed to know was that they had his father locked in a iron clad contract that he couldn't get out of, and that it was his fault.

He listened as Angel told him of his days events. Of Harmony upsetting Illyria, and Illyria proceeding to throw Harmony through an office window, then Spike interfering and nearly getting himself staked, but unfortunately didn't, as Angel said.

He listened, and he listened, content in doing just that. He didn't need to say anything, he just needed to hear Angel's voice. It was the best he could do right now, knowing that he wouldn't see him for months, if even that.

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**A/N: So, how's the start to my very first crossover? Not very long, but the next chapter will be longer (probably). Should I explain some things now? I think I should. Well, first off… **

**This fic takes place after the Angel episode where Connor gets his memories back (obviously), I don't know the name of it though, sorry. And also takes place in the fourth book in The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod.**

**I'm adding on some Vladimir Tod abilities to Connor's. Though garlic won't effect Connor like it does Vlad. And I'm making it where only Vlad can hear Connor's thoughts, but other vampires can still hear Vlad's, and Connor and Vlad can communicate telepathically like in the Vladimir books, but Connor can't read anyone's thoughts, except for Vlad's. So, yeah… have any questions about this fic? Any advice? Tell me then! :} Let's see what happens when The Destroyer meets The Pravus, shall we? ^-^ **


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